Back-to-School Season Is Officially Here

Backpacks are packed, alarms are going off earlier, lunches need to be made again, and suddenly everyone is expected to be somewhere on time.

For some kids, this time of year is exciting. They’re ready to see their friends, meet their teachers, and get back into their routine. For others, going back to school can bring a lot of big feelings. And if your child seems a little more emotional, tired, irritable, anxious, or just not quite themselves right now, you’re probably not imagining it.

Going from summer mode back into a structured school schedule is a big adjustment.

And parents...we know it’s an adjustment for you, too.

Your Child Might Not Say, “I'm Stressed”

Wouldn't it be nice if kids came home and said, “Hello parental figure, I'm feeling overwhelmed by the social and academic expectations associated with this transition”?

Unfortunately, that's usually not how it goes.

Instead, you might hear:

“I don't want to go to school.”

“Everyone is annoying me.”

“I hate my teacher.”

“My stomach hurts.”

“I don't know.”

Or maybe you don't hear much of anything.

Stress and anxiety can look different in children and teenagers than they do in adults. You might notice more irritability, tears, trouble sleeping, stomachaches, headaches, reassurance-seeking, perfectionism, arguing, shutting down, or suddenly having a really hard time getting out the door in the morning.

That doesn't automatically mean something is wrong. Sometimes it simply means, “This transition is hard for me.”

Give Them a Little Time to Adjust

We sometimes expect kids to jump right back into school like summer never happened.

But think about everything they're adjusting to at once: a new teacher, different classmates, new expectations, homework, earlier mornings, extracurricular activities, social dynamics, and much less control over how they spend their day.

That's a lot.

If the first couple of weeks feel a little messy at home, that's okay.

Your child may be more tired than usual. They might need more downtime. Your teenager might come home and immediately disappear into their room. Your younger child might suddenly need a little more reassurance or connection from you.

Before assuming they're being difficult, let's get curious with this by asking yourself:

“Could they just be overwhelmed?”

Sometimes that small shift in perspective changes how we respond.

You Don't Have to Ask 100 Questions After School

We know you're curious.

You waited all day to find out how it went, and the second they get in the car you want to know everything.

“How was your day?”

Fine.

“What did you do?”

Nothing.

Sound familiar?

After spending six or seven hours listening, learning, socializing, following directions, and managing themselves, some kids simply aren't ready to talk yet.

Give them a snack. Let them change clothes. Let them sit quietly, play outside, listen to music, move their body, or just exist for a little while.

Then try again later.

Instead of asking “How was school?” you could try:

• “What was the best part of today?”
• “Who did you sit with at lunch?”
• “Did anything make you laugh today?”
• “Was there anything that felt hard?”
• “What's one thing you're looking forward to tomorrow?”
• “Do you want me to listen, or do you want help figuring it out?”

That last question can be especially helpful with older kids and teenagers.

Sometimes they want our advice.

And sometimes they really, really don't.

Try Listening Before Fixing

As parents, we're wired to fix things.

Your child tells you they're worried about a test, and you immediately start creating a study plan.

They're having trouble with a friend, and you're already thinking about exactly what they should say tomorrow.

They're nervous about school, and you want to reassure them:

“There's nothing to worry about!”

But before jumping into problem-solving, try sitting with the feeling for a minute.

“That sounds really stressful.”

“I can understand why that hurt your feelings.”

“It makes sense that you're nervous. This is all really new.”

You don't have to agree with everything your child says to validate how they're feeling.

Sometimes feeling understood is exactly what helps kids calm down enough to figure out what they need next.

Protect Some Downtime

The school year gets busy quickly.

School. Homework. Sports. Clubs. Tutoring. Activities. Friends. Family obligations.

Before you know it, everyone's calendar is packed (as we stand there asking ourselves why we did this to ourselves.)

Activities can be wonderful for kids, but so can doing absolutely nothing for a little while.

Kids need time when they're not being graded, coached, corrected, evaluated, or expected to accomplish something.

They need sleep. They need movement. They need connection. They need play. They need time with friends and family.

And sometimes they need to sit on the couch in sweatpants and decompress.

That's important too.

Parents, Give Yourselves Some Grace Too

You're adjusting to the school year right alongside them.

You're remembering forms, lunches, homework, practices, appointments, school emails, pickup times, spirit days, and the random item your child tells you they need at 9:00 p.m. for school tomorrow.

There are going to be mornings when everyone is running late.

Someone will forget something.

Someone will probably cry.

It might be you.

One rough morning doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, and one difficult week doesn't mean the entire school year is going to be difficult.

Your kids are watching how you handle those moments, too.

They don't need you to handle everything perfectly. They benefit from seeing that when things don't go according to plan, your family can regroup and try again.

When Should You Be More Concerned?

Some back-to-school anxiety is completely understandable. What we want parents to pay attention to is whether those feelings start getting bigger instead of smaller as your child settles into the school year.

You may want to consider reaching out for additional support if you're noticing ongoing:

• Significant anxiety about attending school
• Frequent stomachaches or headaches related to school
• School refusal
• Panic symptoms
• Major changes in sleeping or eating
• Frequent emotional outbursts
• Withdrawal from friends or family
• Significant changes in grades or concentration
• Bullying or ongoing social difficulties
• Very low self-esteem or intense perfectionism
• Persistent sadness or hopelessness
• Any concerns about your child's safety

You know your child.

If something feels different and it isn't improving as everyone settles into the new routine, it's okay to ask for help.

And Remember: You're On Their Team

Back-to-school season doesn't have to be perfect.

Your child doesn't need the perfect morning routine, the perfect lunch, the perfect grades, or a perfectly organized parent.

What matters much more is knowing that home is a place where they can land.

A place where they can talk when they're ready.

A place where they can have a hard day.

A place where someone notices when they're struggling.

So as everyone settles into another school year, instead of only asking:

“How did you do today?”

Try asking:

“How are you doing?”

You might be surprised by what you hear.

We're Here If Your Family Needs Some Extra Support

At Deeply Rooted Psychotherapy, we work with children, teenagers, young adults, and families who may need a little extra support navigating anxiety, stress, emotional regulation, self-esteem, school challenges, relationships, trauma, and life transitions.

Sometimes kids need their own space to talk. Sometimes parents need support figuring out how to respond. And sometimes the whole family could use some new tools.

If this school year is bringing up more than you expected, you don't have to wait until things feel completely overwhelming to reach out. 

Call us today or complete the contact form through our website to schedule today. We have therapists that specialize in supporting you and your child, so you can feel like you have someone that can help carry the weight of this season with you!

Here's to a new school year, a little more patience, and remembering that we're all figuring it out as we go.